I Have My Days!

I think this Blog has been a long time coming... 

People who know me really well will be surprised by my next statement, and that is that :  

"I really try and think about what I am going to say before I say it."

       NOW: I do not mean on a daily basis, because lets be honest, I am "honestly" a very blunt person, and generally just Blurt out whatever I am thinking.  I admit I am guilty of probably offending some people, and possibly hurting some peoples feelings, but at the same time I also admit that sometimes the truth hurts.

Well, Today is going to be a day where, I will "TRY" to think before I type, but at the same time this is My Blog and this is how I feel, so if you are easily offended, please stop reading now, because I said I was only going to "TRY" to think before I type.!!

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BITTER BITTER BITTER:

          Oh Hello Bitter Betty, (that's me on some days, even when I try to leave her at home locked up, she still wants to come out and play her Bitter Games!)  As I have mentioned before I have Premature Ovarian Failure, and as I also have mentioned before Kyle and I are not planning or trying in any way shape or form to conceive any time soon anyway.  We want to enjoy our marriage, and then seek out our options! 

People tell me all the time how strong I am, and I am so thankful that they see that, because days like today, I do not feel so strong! As an Athlete my entire life I was brought up to "Suck it Up"  "Rub some dirt on it"  "Get over it"  "Don't be a Crybaby" ...etc... So I think that it is easier for me to hide my feelings, even from some of the people I love most.  

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You know, maybe the people closest to me shouldn't be so surprised, because I am just going to STOP right there, because I am a strong person, and I know that God has a plan for me, and a plan for Kyle and I as a married couple, weather we have our own baby or not, there is a reason and I trust in God to make the best decision for us.  So all Bitterness aside and locking Bitter Betty back up, let me just say that on the days when she comes out I just pray to God, and have faith and trust in him.!!

On another note, my manager told me the other day that she had a dream that I was pregnant, so maybe it is a good sign.! 

Also my friend Jessica told me that "Koi fish" are supposed to be good luck and bring upon good fertility, and that if you dream about one, it is supposed to be a good sign.. So maybe when the time is right I will have a dream about fishin' for a Koi fish.!